[C] The First Time With You

[Snowstep]

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The First Time With You

The first time I saw you,
You made my heart speed up.
The first time I heard you,
You made my body warm up.
The first time I was with you,
You made my soul brighten up.

I wanted to be with you.

The first time I met you,
I kept to myself.
The first time I felt you,
I tried to keep away.
The first time I loved you,
I knew it wasn¡¯t possible.

It was against the Warrior Code.

The first time in life,
I loved you.
The first time in death,
I missed you.
The first time in StarClan,
I watched over you.

Do you miss me, Firestar?



- Snowstep
*PS. Can you guess who this is? =P

[Lightningstar]

Readability: 8/10
Although the poem was fairly easy to read, it got a little confusing at times. At first, the cat is expressing their love for Firestar, and then they talk about how they want to be away from him. And though I can tell that you're talking about Spottedleaf, others might not be able to tell.

Originality: 9/10
A cool poem altogether, and not like most SpottedxFire I've seen (even though I haven't seen many x3).

Overall: 85%
I liked most of it, and it was well written. Just a little confusing at times; to me at least. ^^;