[UP][X] Suffocating Sorrow

[Shadowstar [LovesMaydayParade]]

Title: Suffocating Sorrow
Chapters:
Just the prologue so far
Author: Shadowstar
Pairing: I prefer to keep it a secret, keep everyone hanging... though it'll become pretty obvious
Summary:

A teenage girl finds something in her life that will change it forever - and she must choose the paths laid out for her. But along the way, will she make the right choices, or will there be suffering in her wake?

Editor: Myself
Cover: Nope, I may make one later

Author's Notes: Ahahaa it's just an idea I had a few months ago in class, thought over it and now am deciding to put it into words. Yeah. Reviews would be greatly welcomed ^^ The prologue is from a different perspective, not the main characters

Prologue

I was concentrated on getting an unusually stubborn bit of dirt from underneath my black-coated nail when a strangled sort of noise behind me served as a distraction. It took a moment for me to register it, and then I turned, to see my father standing in the maginificently decorated archway, a stern look on his sharp features. I realized that the noise must have been made by hime clearing his throat, because he did it again when our eyes met. I felt a sudden jolt of panic rush through me - had I perhaps done something wrong? I couldn't remember straying out of line... unless I'd forgotten one of my chores...

He was staring me down, however, so I had little space amidst my panic for thought. It was never a good idea to anger my father - even an idiot would be able to guess that much. He was tall and muscular, with stern, heavy-set features that were rarely brightened with a smile. I could only one recall seeing his smile - and it was before my mother had died. A sad memory. His dark gray eyes were narrowed, and I winced back reflexively, biting the inside of my lip as my hands started to shake slightly. "Father?" I said eventually, cursing silently as my voice trembled and broke. I said nothing more, excessive speaking around my father always just seemed to irritate him more.

He swept his cold gaze around the garden, then let them rest upon me once more. "Done with the gardening?" he asked in his rough, loud voice. I nodded once, not wanting to speak in case my voice failed me again.

Our garden had always been my mothers pride and joy before her death. It took up the entire space of our backyard, but the space was never considered wasted. Rare, exotic flowers in all shapes, sizes and colors blooming around us, some no larger than the tip of my index finger, others with stems that stood taller than even my father. A small brook bubbled through the length of the backyard, it came out from a gap in the trees - our house was surrounded by forest, my mother always did love nature, I got that from her - and flowed to a stop inside a small, crystal clear pool. I was perched on a rock overhanging that small pond now, having just tended to a few weeds, and gotten an excessive amount of dirt underneath my fingernails. A dirt path wound through the maze of flowers and stopped where I was, and the arch my father was standing under was the start of it. The arch was another pride of the family, roses interwined it - it was made of natural bark, my parents had been married under it. Back then, when my mother had been alive, father had been a wonderful man, always laughing, always happy. I remembered my mother taking me out into the garden to show me a birds nest in one of our trees when I was much younger...

Engrossed as I was in old memories, I hadn't noticed my father approach, and jumped quite noticably when he was suddenly beside me. Luckily, he was staring at the waters edge, and seemed to take no notice. After what seemed like ages, he turned his gaze toward me. It wasn't cold anymore, but it was also void of warmth. There was something there... something I couldn't quite read. Then he broke the silence by muttering, "You will need to look into the pool again, my son."

It took everything in my power not to tremble in fear at those words. I had a certain gift, a sort of future sight, but it didn't come freely. I'd inherited it from my mother, and ever since she'd died, it had taken so much more to draw out my powers... See, the pool in our garden wasn't just there for it's beauty. It held magic in it, and when my mother or I needed a glance into what was to come, it had always yeilded. But it had needed blood, for it's power was dark, mankind was not supposed to have such a gift. Back then, we'd simply had to prick our fingers and allow a small drop to touch the surface. But now, with her gone, I would have to do much more.

"M-must I?" I asked my father, not even worried about his reaction to the anxiety in my tone. He had the smallest hint of sympathy in his gaze as he nodded. But it was gone quickly, and I felt a sudden pang of resentful fury in the pit of my stomach. It was easy for him, he just had to watch as I broke my skin with a knife, didn't feel my pain one bit, then prospered from my visions. But if he ordered me to do it, I couldn't refuse. It would cause me much more suffering if I were to disobey my father, that I knew.

I didn't even have to utter a word after that, he'd already handed me the silver knife. It had been washed and polished since the last time it had been put to use, no trace of the blood that had once stained it - my blood. I decided that I would get it over quickly, hesitating only allowed my fear to reach it's climax.

My hand trembled as I brought the knife to my wrist, so when the wound was made, it dug in deeper than I'd intended, increasing the pain. I closed my eyes as tears sprang to them, and it was several minutes before I had the strength to open them again. The sight of my own blood, dripping into the water, staining it red, made me feel quite sickened, but I'd done this more than once, so the feeling passed quicker this time. I knew instantly when it started working, because the crystal curface of the pool turned scarlet, almost as if it was blood.

My father watched silently as I got down on my hands and knees by the waters edge, gazing into the pool. My voice was quiet and soft as I murmered, "I need to see the future." It did not respond instantly to my command, but I had no worries, I was patient. And my patience was rewarded, the surface rippled, and an image formed on the water. A girl, with black hair, her face hidden by shadow, was sitting alone in a dark corner of some sort. The vision subsided quickly, and I was confused. Usually my visions were much clearer, and never had they involved anyone other than direct family. I took a glance toward where my father had been moments before, but he was standing behind me now - I could hear his slow breathing.

"Father?" I asked tenatiatively, standing. I knew by the expression on his face that he'd understood my vision much more than I had. He didn't look at me, instead glanced somewhere behind my head before finally responding, "Things in your life are going to change, my son. The future is clouded, but it will all become clear soon enough."

I was baffled by this, I had no idea what he was talking about. "I-I don't understand...?"

Now he looked at me directly, and I was unsettled by the unmasked sorrow in his gray eyes. "I cannot explain. But gather your things - we leave tommorow."

I was appalled. "Leave?" I echoed, my own voice sounding distant.

"Tomorrow." he repeated, and then he was gone, walking back to the house and leaving me alone.

[Shadowstar [LovesMaydayParade]]

Chapter One

"Hey, Alexa? Alex, get up!"

A loud voice that sounded somewhere far off peirced the comforting darkness and wonder of my dreams, and my eyelids fluttered open as I felt something shake my shoulder lightly. Irritated, I tried to recall what I had been dreaming about, but failed, I just knew it had been a fantastic one. If only I could have continued it, but my eyes, dull from lack of sleep, glared upon the very reason I had been forced away from it. The interruption was in the form of none other than Delilah Morrison, my supposed 'best friend' here in town. It was the only 'friendship' I'd ever had, and yet it was all fake. She only pretended to like me because our parents were friends - at school she treated me the same way everyone else did - like dirt. I was the only one at my school that didn't have a perfect, model-built, curvy figure. I was skinny, but my curves weren't as prominent as those of my peers. I glowered at Delilah's perfect body as I reluctantly rose from my bed, glancing 'round the clutter of my room for the belt I always wore. Not seeing it, I got up to search through the ominous jumble in my closet.

As I hasitly tore things out and threw them on the floor, Delilah scrutinized my room with obvious dislike, her nose turned up at the mess. I was none-too-careful with my room, and over the course of only a month since its last thourough cleaning, it was a disaster once more. Clothes and books lay scattered on the hardwood floor, and some were even strung on the bed and two end tables near the door. The walls of my room were black, and papered with posters of numerous heavy metal bands. It showed once again how different I was from most of the 'clones' in this town, they all favoured the fashion magazines and celebrities, I was into bands and more bands.

With an exclamation of triumph, I pulled the belt out from underneath a box, still unpacked since my move here - three years ago. My father wouldn't dare come in my room, it disgraced him, else I would get a good lecture on neatness. The belt was black and double-row studded, I saw Delilah give it a disgusted glance, as if it was some sort of diseased animal. I ignored the look and glared at her, then flicked my eyes toward the door. "Out. I need to change."

It seemed that she left willingly, at any rate she didn't protest as I half-slammed the door behind her. Finally free of her peircing gaze, I collapsed back on my bed and lay there for a few minutes before registering the time. I realized that if I didn't hurry, I would be late for school again, and neither my teacher nor Delilah would forgive me easily for that one. Sighing heavily, I grabbed my favorite pair of dark jeans from the closet, holding them at arms length for a moment, assesing them. Grinning to myself, I gave a nod and tossed them onto my bed, where I'd also placed the studded belt. The shirt came next, I spent a few minutes debating between a black and red striped or a t-shirt displaying the logo of one of my current band obsessions. After a few more seconds, I cast aside the black and red and threw the band shirt on top of my other clothes.

I must have spent about six minutes looking for my studded wristbands before I realized with a feeling of idiocy that they were still on my wrists. I must have been so tired last night that I'd forgotten to take them off. Noticing but not really caring how much time I'd wasted searching for them, I dressed quickly. My shoes were already in my room, another fact I was glad my father didn't know, and I struggled with the laces for a minute or so before successfully getting them on. They were Converse in the standard black and white - I'd saved up to get them, like evey other dark thing in my room. My parents didn't approve of my style. I was always slightly more disoriented in the morning - I was nocturnal by far. Every time I joked about that to my parents, they would look grave and tell me to take life more seriously. It gives me the feeling they know more than they're letting on.

I gave up on weedling it out of them years ago. Grabbing the brush from one of the tables, I tugged it through my messy hair a few times until most of the knots were out. And that would have to do, because I was running late and besides, I didn't care as much for my appearance as everyone else around here does. It makes me feel so isolated sometimes.

Before dashing out however, I allow a quick glance at myself in the mirror, once again reminded how different I was from everyone around here. All of the girls at my school had long, lucious, shiny hair, mostly in shades of blonde, gold or brown. Red wasn't as common a color, but it still wasn't shunned. It made my dull black hair seem lifeless and dirty. Not like I cared all that much, but it did get annoying after the millionth time someone tells you to dye your hair.

No one else in my school shares an eye color with me either - my eyes are a medium gray. I like my eyes, though everyone else makes it pretty clear they feel different. I'm reminded of this again as I open the door to my room - first words out of Delilahs mouth are totally predicatable.

"You should get contacts."

I roll my eyes and ignore her, pushing past her into the long hall that leads to the front door. As we pass the kitchen, my mother calls out a greeting, but only Delilah returns it. I still - after three long years - haven't forgiven my parents for forcing me to live here. Oh, and there's something else I didn't mention.

Our school is all girls.

It's not that guys weren't allowed to attend, but I think the girls scared them off, so they were much more contented to attend the lower class school down the street. I don't blame them - I wanted to go there myself, but my father insisted I get an 'upper-class education'. It was like they wanted me to hate them.

We walked to the school in almost complete silence, Delilah only speaking once to remind me 'how much more you'd fit in if you were blonde, darling'. I ignored it, naturally. About a block from the school, she crosses the street and walks ahead of me, but I'm not surprised. It's how it's always been. She pretends like she doesn't even know me when we're at school. Even teases me like everyone else. I despise her for that. The minute I reach the yard, a group near me falls silent, so I can instantly guess the topic of their conversation. Unbothered, I begin to head for my favorite corner of the yard - deserted and shadowed, where no one would bother me. Halfway through a step, I freeze reflexively at a girls sharp gasp.

"Who is that?"

[Shadowstar [LovesMaydayParade]]

Chapter Two

I hate to look to eager in front of my classmates, but even I couldn't resist the temptation to turn and look at what she was now pointing at. No, who. As I glanced toward the person, our eyes met, and I saw such simalarities staring back at me that I swear I almost fainted right then and there. Though I didn't fall over, I'm pretty sure my mouth dropped open. The second I noticed my face grew uncomfortably warm and I knew I was blushing, but I just couldn't look away from this newcomer... the face, the hair, the style... so captivating. And what amazed me the most... 'it' was actually a 'he'. A boy! At our school. I had to admit, I was instantly ecstatic. He had black hair like I did, and it reached past her ears, swept handsomely to one side, forming side-bangs. But though one side of his face was shadowed - I was used to this, I had side-bangs as well - I could still make out the color of the one eye that stared back at me. Gray. A much lighter gray than my own, but even still. His style was even like mine, I swear it was like he was a long lost cousin of some sort. His dark jeans were slightly baggy at the bottom, and a double set of chains hung from - I swayed - a studded belt. I couldn't see what brand of shoes he was wearing, but I wouldn't be surprised if we had that in common too. I was pretty sure I'd fallen asleep after Delilah woke me up - else I'd died and gone to heaven.

And when the stranger finally spoke, he met my eyes and whispered in a soft, almost melodic voice, "It's you..." I was sure he had to be talking to someone else, though the other students looked just as stunned as I did. I'd never met him before, much as I'd fantasized about someone like him. I opened my mouth to speak, but it was horribly dry and no words came to me. I'd never been so speechless before, it was irritating. But I continued to stare at the boy. "W-what?" I finally managed to choke out, my voice nervous and strangled.

He suddenly seemed to notice that he was amidst a crowd of people, who were all staring at him as if he was a freak, and he suddenly looked terrified, smaller somehow. I realized that wherever someone so wonderful came from, they probably got a lot better treatment back there... wherever there was. Something briefly clouded his gaze before it cleared, and then he gave me a soft, tenatiative smile. I returned it just as hesitantly, and then everyone was caught off guard by a loud sound as the bell rang, signalling the start of the day. As he was lost amongst a sea of people, I grudgingly allowed myself to be swept like a fish downstream, across the hot pavement and into the double doors of the school.

---

Despite my earlier disappointment, I did not have to wait long to reunite with the mystery boy. He was there in my first class - Math - lingering nervously around the door as he cast around for a place to sit. But he probably knew as well as I did that it was a teachers choice to seat you - we were in high-school, but they still seemed to treat us like middle-schoolers here. It caused me no end of annoyance.

I was going to somehow gather up my courage and say something to him, and he seemed to be thinking along the same lines, opening and closing his mouth every few seconds tenatiatively. But before either of us could get a chance, the teacher had entered the room, and she beamed at the boy when she spotted him. "Ah, yes, you must be the new student!" I felt a pang of pity for the new boy as he shuffled uneasily, no one would like being put in the spotlight like that, I was sure. The teacher seemed not to notice as the class burst into quiet laughter, instead buising herself with a list on the desk. A few seconds later she looked up, still beaming. "Alright, you can go ahead and take a seat over there by Alexa then, alright?" He blushed audibly as someone jeered, but I felt elated. Noticing that he didn't exactly look like he knew where to go, I raised two fingers and jerked them in a small wave, giving him another small smile. Looking relieved, he sighed and flopped down in the seat beside mine. Not even caring if the teacher was watching me, I angled my chair toward him.

Suddenly unsure of how to start, I shrugged hopelessly and muttered, "Um, hi?" He laughed, but the sound was friendly, so I joined in, relieved. "I was worried when I first saw the school that there wouldn't be anyone like me," he said softly, and I was fascinated by his quiet, melodic whispers. He seemed terribly shy, and I was too, so the mood fit us both well. After another small silence, I decided to try and make conversation. "I know the feeling - there's been no one else but me for a long time. I'm Alexa, by the way. Alexa Blackthorn. My friends... well, back when I had any, they'd call me Alex."

"Matt Stevens," he replied, grinning, but he flinched back slightly as he grasped hands with me. I looked around, alarmed, but he calmed down quickly and looked apologetic. I just waited for some sort of an explanation. While I waited, I mused. So his name was Matt? While to anyone else this may seem like a common name, it wasn't common here since there were no other boys, and besides that fact, I liked it.

I was still immersed in my thought when he next spoke, so I jumped very slightly, causing him to add a chuckle on the end. "Your hand... it's freezing!" Uh oh. I'd forgotten about that fact - my parents were very strict about me not making contact with anyone, said I had some sort of a ... 'condition' that made my skin cold to the touch. But in the heat of such a moment, I'd forgotten. And I didn't want to tell Matt I had a 'condition', else he might think I meant a disease. And scaring him off wasn't very appealing to me at the moment. "I was messing around with stuff in the freezer this morning," I lied, instantly regretting it because of it's idiotic nature. No way anyone would buy that. And Matt certainly didn't look like he did either, but he said nothing, just gave me a nod. Going along with it. I had a sudden urge to thank him, but that would have been even stupider. I just smiled.

The rest of the day went by without much major event, though Matt seemed to be in all my classes, and he used his shy charm to score a seat beside me every time. It was with overwhelming reluctance that I parted with my only friend in a long time when the day ended, we both must have said goodbye a thousand times... each!

I knew we couldn't put things off much longer, so I gave him another shy smile, then a wave, and started to walk away. But before I could go any furthur, his hand was on my shoulder. I was glad when he didn't comment on how cold it was. "Alex..." he asked me tenatiatively. I blinked and swallowed my nervous tension. "Yeah?"

He took a breath. "I don't want to scare you or anything, but I just want you to know that you should be careful. I don't know why...-" he looked puzzled "- you just should. See you tommorrow."

And then, with a last prolonged look into my eyes, he turned around and left.

[Shadowstar [LovesMaydayParade]]

Authors Note - Okay, I might be able to find a picture of what Alexa and Matt look like later

Chapter Three

I moaned in protest when the intruding light glared through my window, not wanting to get up just yet. I hadn't slept at all the entire night, and though I tried to deny the reason it stubbornly refused to be ignored. I knew Matt's warning was the sole cause of my sleepless night, because I wanted to know what he was warning me from. I wanted to ask him, but I wasn't an idiot, I'd heard him say that he didn't know why I should 'be careful'. I'd admit only to myself that I was frusterated, I just meet him and he's already giving me cryptic messages? But then I realized lack of sleep was making me crabbier than usual, and I shouldn't be so hard on him. He had looked like he'd really meant well, anyways. I rolled over on my bed, facing away from the suns glare. I was surprised that Delilah hadn't came over to wake me up yet. Though I despised her, I'd have to give her credit that she was the reason I got to school on time. I don't like school, and I don't like mornings, so if it wasn't for her impatient tongue-clicking in my ear, I probably would have been expelled ages ago. I groaned again, not wanting to check the time. But after three minutes of keeping my eyes shut and delaying, I couldn't resist glancing at the clock. I bit back a shout of protest when I noticed that it was already two in the afternoon. I must have fallen asleep after all, I couldn't remember seeing the first rays of light shine through my window. I was out of bed in seconds, and actually halfway through shoving a t-shirt over my head when I realized the date on the clock. Saturday. I rolled my eyes and flopped back onto the bed, feeling like an idiot.

But then... if I'd slept, I must have dreamed of him and his warnings, because I conciously remember repeating them multiple times over the course of what I'd thought to be the night. I closed the black blinds over the window so the sun didn't intrude so much - it hurt my eyes and made me feel uncomfortable. My parents said it was because I was so pale, but like everything they kept hidden from me, I can't help but to wonder if it's part of something more. Something bigger.

I sighed and clasped my hands together, putting them behind my head and leaning back on the pillow. Weekends were a relief from school, but in my case they usually meant either chores if I complained of nothing to do, or the latter. Nothing to do. And even though I quickly shoved this thought to the back of my mind when it surfaced, I had been looking forward to seeing Matt again. Just the prospect of having someone else like me around was golden. I loved it. I'd missed the company of the guys I'd befriended at our old house, missed being able to chat endlessly about bands and the concerts we'd been to or wanted to attend. There was no one I could talk that out with here, or at least there hadn't been. Well, maybe Matt wouldn't be as band crazy as I was, but at least he spoke to me. He wasn't ashamed to be my friend.

A friend... After three long years the word sounded so alien, yet it still held that comforting glow. I'd never called anyone friend, not even Delilah, far as I'm concerned she's 'neighbour' and neighbour only. While I was thinking about things I could ask Matt about next time we spoke, I grabbed my brush from the end of the bed - it had a new place every day - and started to tug it through my hair. I went through it much more thouroughly than I had the previous day, if I went downstairs I didn't want my parents to think I'd just woken up. That would just cue my dad to start one of his favorite lectures. Wasting time. I'd heard it now so many times that I could mimic his voice in my head. This made me laugh softly to myself. I hardly ever laughed anymore, so it surprised me.

I blinked to clear the blurred vision sleep had presented me with, then hopped off the bed again, this time making my way over to the closet. I was much less rushed today, so I was able to take as much time as I wanted debating between skinny jeans or baggy ones. Both were black, I think I only had three colors in my entire wardrobe - black, red and a little bit of white. Oh, and that horrid pink dress my mother had bought me. Make that three colors in the wardrobe that I would ever wear. I wasn't much in the mood for baggy today, so I chose the skinny jeans and pulled them on, almost falling over at one point. It was funny how disoriented I could get when I first woke up.

Today I wore the red and black striped t-shirt that had been tossed aside yesterday. I carefully applied my black eyeliner, going extra slow so that I didn't accidentally poke myself in the eye. I tended to do that a lot, considering make-up is more of a morning thing. I was always active and alert at night. I made it through the process without damaging my vision, so I took that as a good sign. I would have laced up my Converse, but my dad was really strict about having shoes no farther than the doormat. Of course, he never seemed to realize I kept mine in the room with me.

After pulling on my wristbands and putting on my belt, I grabbed a small black leather-bound book from a hidden area - under a crack in the dark hardwood floor. I was the only one that knew of the existance of the hidden hole, so it was a perfectly safe place to hide my journal. I lay down on my bed and stayed for a moment with the pen poised in my hand, then nodded to myself and started to write. I didn't write 'dear diary' or anything of the such, I wasn't into such formality.

Yesterday was one of the most peculiar days of my life. It started off with the regular wake up call from Delilah, dragging myself to school, and then everything changed. There's a new boy at our school, a boy, I can't believe it. His name is Matt, I'm pretty sure he told me his last name was Stevens. It's amazing, because he's like me in guy form. Which I'm much more accustomed to because of my previous life.

We're in all the same classes, and he managed to get a seat beside me in every one. He's great, really. It'll be the first time in years that I've had a true friend. But when we were leaving, he told me the strangest thing. He warned me to be careful. And he didn't tell me why.

Could it have anything to do with the secret? The one my parents are keeping from me?

Alexa

[Shadowstar [LovesMaydayParade]]

Chapter Four

Sunday.

Usually there was no day of the week I loved more than a Sunday. My parents both had work on a Sunday, from morning until late at night, so it meant I was free from chores and allowed to lounge on the couch, watching TV all day. Not that I liked TV much, only the music channels, but it was better than trying to locate spots of dirt on my mothers expensive china dishes, all the while trying not to break them. I cringed slightly, sitting on our comfortable leather recliner, when my thoughts strayed to the last time I broke one of mothers dishes. She'd cried all day, and my father can get quite... nasty... when I do something that makes my mother cry. I'm pretty sure that I still have the scars. But I'll save everyones stomach and not go into details, because I can assure that it isn't pretty. So now I'm really careful when handling any sort of dish, anything especially that belongs to my mother, so it can take me hours to do the dishes alone. And then after that I usually have to dust, which unless you count my room is utterly worthless, our house could win an award for cleanliness. Unless, like I said, you count my room. Then I've got to vaccuum. Yet another pointless job, I think my father just forces me to because he knows it annoys me. That's what annoys me about him - he loves it when he manages to get to me. My parents are really, really weird. My mother just likes it when I'm confused, my father likes it when I'm annoyed, it's like they're trying to trigger something from me. Some sort of mental reaction. But they've obviously had no luck just yet. I was as normal as normal could be - in my case.

I blinked in slight surprise when I noticed the date written on the calendar on the far wall. It was July 8^th today, which meant, if I wasn't mistaken, that my birthday was the approaching Friday. And I blinked again, because that meant it was on July thirteenth, a friday. Friday the thirteenth.

Not that I was superstitious or anything. Really.

That was another slightly annoying thing about this area, though. Unlike most schools, which ended at the end of June, ours didn't end until July. But then again, it started in October so I suppose we really aren't missing out on much. But it would be nice to have my birthday during the summer holidays. That way I could truly have a full day off, instead of only relaxing after school. But hey, even though next years would be a day off, it wasn't every year that you had your birthday on Friday the Thirteenth. While most might be a little skittish about celebrating their birth on a supposedly 'cursed' day like this, I thought it was kind of cool. I am weird, but I don't care. Thirteen has always been my favorite number.

I was about to go back into my room and listen to music when a soft knock on the door startled me. It was quiet, but in the equal silence of the house, it surprised me. Who would be coming to our door on a weekend? Unless it was Delilah... I shuddered. But even still, I shouldn't answer it.

Shouldn't.

But will.

Of course.

Pausing only for a breif second to stretch, I rose lazily from the couch and started slowly walking toward the door. When I put my foot down on the doormat, the soft knock sounded again. I didn't jump again this time, just opened the door quickly and without much warning, causing the person standing there to jump back slightly. And when I identified my visitor, I jumped a little too. Rubbing my eyes to make sure I wasn't halucinating, I grinned slightly. "Matt? Well what are you doing here?"

He looked relieved when it was me that answered the door, and not one of my parents. Guessing the reason, I ran a hand through the back of my hair sheepishly and muttered, "They're out." He nodded, then glanced inside for a brief second, asking a silent question. I smiled lightly at him. "Come in, come in," I chuckled, stepping back and letting him past, into our long hallway. He glanced around at the sparkling white walls, the spotless dishes, then raised his eyebrows and look back at me. I laughed as I pushed the door closed and locked it. "Want to go upstairs?" I asked him, also raising my eyebrows. Looking slightly puzzled, Matt nodded, and I led the way upstairs, taking the steps three at a time. I crossed the hall to the door at the end, which was my room. Pushing open the door, I stepped sideways so that he could follow me inside. He seemed relieved that my room wasn't as neat and perfect as the rest of the house, because he instantly relaxed. "Much better." I laughed at that comment.

Sitting down on the bed and nodding to indicate he could sit beside me, I asked again, "What brings you here?" This time, he answered me. "I... well, I wanted to talk to you," he admitted, chuckling nervously. I grinned, then faltered. "How did you find out where I lived?" He blushed, then responded, "I-I asked around..." I got the feeling that he wasn't telling me everything, but I didn't press him any furthur. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

For a second he looked releived that I had 'bought' his excuse, and then he suddenly grew somber, serious. I felt dread start to form in the pitt of my stomach. I guess he could see my aprehension, because he placed a hand on my shoulder. I bit my lip, but his touch seemed to calm me ever so slightly. I nodded to indicate he should continue.

"Well... it's about your birthday..."

I was stunned. How could he possibly know about that? For heavens sake, we just met two days ago! I was about to speak, but closed my mouth when he continued. "I know a lot of things I probably shouldn't, but I promise you Alexa, I don't have control over what I discover, and anything that might happen to you on that day is not my fault." I felt terror pulse through my veins.

"H-happen to me?"

[Shadowstar [LovesMaydayParade]]

Chapter Five

I shivered involuntarily as the words sunk it, because they had some meaning that I didn't understand. I could tell by the almost haunted look in Matt's eyes. He looked aprehensive, and I bit my lip, wondering why. "I-Is it really all that... bad?" I asked hesitantly, my gray eyes wide. He put a hand gently on my shoulder, and despite my fear, that felt... nice. Awkward, but friendly. I liked that feeling, I decided. I didn't smile though, because for obvious reasons that wouldn't exactly fit the mood. He'd wonder what I was thinking.

And I wasn't telling him that.

"It depends on how you look at it, Alexa," he said softly, and his tone sounded warm, as if he was trying to comfort me. It kinda worked, because I stopped shaking. I was still worried though, because he hadn't exactly denied my words, just danced around the question. Ugh, I hated it when people did that, and right now I especially hated that he was doing it, because I wanted so badly to listen to him. The urge was powerful, and I had to fight to keep my thoughts straight. People shouldn't be allowed to have that effect on me, it wasn't fair. I became aware that his hand was still on my shoulder, and I concentrated on that overly-pleasant thought to calm myself. I closed my eyes for a moment, considering his words. After a long pause, I nodded, then opened my eyes to meet his gaze.

"Okay," I breathed, deciding to trust Matt. Trusting him seemed a whole lot more tempting than worrying about my upcoming birthday. Why was it going to happen then? The nagging suspiscion from last night returned - did it have to do with the secret? Before he'd just given me a warning, but now he was flat out telling me that something big was going to happen, a mere five days from now. Five. Days. I had to concentrate on my breathing to make sure that I didn't start hyperventilating. Deep breath in through my mouth, exhale slowly through my nose. I closed my eyes again, almost forgetting that Matt was even sitting there beside me. Until he spoke.

"Alexa? Alex, are you feeling alright?" His quiet tone was anxious, so I nodded to show him I wasn't having some sort of a panic attack, not speaking for fear that it would come out as a squeak. Breathe in. Breathe out.

"What's wrong?" he demanded quietly, or maybe it just sounded like a demand because of the urgency of his tone. I felt bad for him suddenly, he must think he was triggering some odd condition I had. Breathe in, breathe out. I did this a few more times until I figured it was safe to let the breathing come naturally, and opened my eyes. He was biting his lip, and his brows were creased with worry. Geez, he looked like he was the one about to have a panic attack. The thought might have made me laugh on a normal day, but it wasn't appropriate right now.

"Nothing Matt, nothing. I'm fine," I reassured him, giving him a small and tenatiative smile to prove that I wasn't freaking out. Wait, correction. I wasn't freaking out anymore. Because I had been just a little panicked right there. But I wasn't saying that out loud. Poor guy already looked worried, no need to scare him more. Luckily, he seemed to relax when he saw me smiling, and he nodded, finally letting his hand drop back to his side. I cursed myself silently, I shouldn't be disappointed. That was stupid, silly.

After a few minutes silence, I spoke again, hesitantly. "W-will... will you tell me... what's going to happen?" I looked into his gray eyes, my own pleading. He looked torn, and I felt bad. Maybe I was laying it on a little thick. But I really wanted to know what I was going to find out in a few days. Like, really badly. It would probably freak me out, or maybe not. He'd said 'it depends on how you look at it'. Did that mean it could be a good thing too? Ugh, so many questions.

But he shook his head quickly, though there was a truly apologetic look in his eyes. d**n, he could make me feel sorry for him so easily. I wondered if he was doing it on purpose. No, no he wouldn't do that. I didn't think he would, at least. Whatever the reason, I instantly forgave him for not telling me. "No, I can't," he said softly, looking down at his knees. I bit my lip, he didn't even have to be looking at me to induce the regret. Gah. That was more than just a little bit annoying. "I... I broke the rules just telling you something would happen in the first place." His tone was feverent, worried, and the words came out quickly. "You weren't supposed to know until then... but I felt I should give you at least a little warning. No one should have to be surprised like that. It's unfair."

My eyes were wide, and I got the feeling he was speaking to himself more than he was to me. I was also vaguely aware that my mouth was open. I closed it as he looked back at me, then stiffened. He looked almost scared, and before I could ask what was going on, he was on his feet. Whoa, what the hell? I followed suit, grabbing his wrist before he could run or do whatever he was planning on doing. "What?!" I demanded quietly.

He bit his lip, then hugged me. I was so shocked that I let go of his wrist, and he took a few hurried steps backward before I could get hold of him again. I guessed he'd planned that. That annoyed me. But he was already speaking, so I strained my ears to catch his quiet whisper.

"I-I have to go. I'm sorry, b-but it's urgent!"

Before I could even open my mouth to speak, he had spun around and dashed out of the room. I was left standing alone, a confused and startled look on my pale features. What had that been about?