Post by Snowstep on Jul 22, 2008 17:03:46 GMT -5
Title: Life Lesson on Forgiveness
Author: Snowstep
Pairing: none
Summary: A forgiving piano teacher teaches her student on something more than playing musical notes.
Editor: none
Cover: none
Author's Notes: This is a real story experienced by none other than yours truly. ^^
The phone rang again. I was expecting my mom, but I didn't recognize the number. I reluctantly picked up the phone and went back to sit in front of the computer, buffing myself to get ready for the Maplestory event that was going to start.
"Hello?"
"Kathy, you're forty-five minutes late."
I dropped the phone on the table and quickly picked up back up. "OH SHOOT!" I forgot about my piano lesson! Then it all made sense; how the Maplestory game suddenly disconnected half an hour ago, when it was 10 minutes after my lesson was supposed to start. How the Internet didn't work anymore at that moment, and how I felt that I was using up precious time when I was waiting for the bus. God was reminding me about it. It all made sense now.
"I'm sorry I totally forgot!" I felt like a nervous wreck. I was so stupid! As fast as I could, I typed 'OMG I FORGOT I HAD PIANO LESSONS! G2G BYE', and quit Maplestory.
"It's either you come for 16 minutes, or you don't come and you still get charged."
"I guess I should run over then?"
"Yes that's the best idea."
Then she hung up. Rosan sounded so disappointed... And at my last lesson I upset her too. Though I didn't remember why, I knew my piano teacher was still unhappy about it. And to make this all worse, I wasn't able to practice piano yesterday because I scraped a whole layer of skin off my finger the day before, so now she was going to be even more disappointed than she already was.
"Shoot!" I said under my breath as I turned computer off without going through the shut-down process, and ran to my room to stuff my piano books into my backpack. I very much wanted to turn that 'shoot' into a 'nuts', but I knew God wouldn't like it.
I sprinted out the door and tried to get to Rosan's house as soon as I could, but I couldn't go very fast because it was uphill, and the sun was burning my face. I HATED to have to face the sun, but I had no choice this time. I just hoped that Rosan wouldn't be too unhappy with me.
The moment I entered the door, I knew it wasn't going to be pretty. Though she didn't show that she was mad through her words, I knew she was very, very disappointed. And, probably not even only because of this. She wasn't the type of person who'd have gotten mad because I forgot about my lessons... I knew there was something more to it.
"Let's hear Intermezzo."
It just HAD to be the new song I was supposed to memorize... the one that I only got half way before I hurt my index finger. The one that was going to worsen her mood.
I didn't say anything, and only hoped that things would be ok.
I couldn't even describe how horrible my notes were. The song was a mess! I took a deep breath and looked down at the keys in frustration, but this time, it was because I felt so useless, helpless. I couldn¡¯t remember. I gave up. I gave up on trying to guess all the notes, but I did finish the song. I skipped back to the repeated ending, which was a sound of doom and sadness.
Perfect for the mood in the room right then.
"You really need more practice. Now we're behind schedule. If next time isn't going to be better, I'll have to tell your mom that you're not ready."
Yep, disappointment through and through.
"Play La Sarabande."
I started, but then I was cut off. My left hand was still on the piano as I turned to face Rosan. She looked serious. Very serious.
"I really didn't appreciate the attitude you gave me last time." She didn't simply look mad this time, or even just disappointed. No, she looked... hurt.
"How many years have I been teaching you?"
Her question caught me off guard. "Um... six to seven years... I think..."
"Seven years. I've taught you for seven years, and I couldn't believe you said what you said to me last time."
It must've been really bad... but I just didn't remember what I said before.
"If it was any other student, I would have sent them home right away. It was hurtful and it was rude. Out of all my students, I couldn't believe it was you who said it. It felt like a verbal slap across the face."
She paused for a moment. I didn't know what to do... I just sat there, watching and listening. I didn't know what I said could have meant so much damage to her. Rosan, out of all people. She was the person who I thought would never get hurt, especially not by me. I pursed my lips a little, thinking it over, with my hand still on the piano keys.
"You have given me your attitude many times before, way more than I ever deserved, and I sucked it up. But this time, you crossed the line. I know that I didn't sound excited for you about your job, but I didn't say that I wanted you to quit. I just said that you should only work for two to three times a week, and you know why?"
She stopped talking to let me answer. By now I could almost feel a lump in my throat. And I noticed that she was very unlike her usual self today. I always saw her as perfect, but today... it just didn't look like it. And it was because of me.
"Because I should get time for all my other stuff like piano?" Pitiful.
"Because I care about you." Those words made the lump huge instantly. "I didn't want you to do more than you can handle, because I know how much a person can and can't. And you didn't appreciate it. You said 'I thought your job as a piano teacher was to just listen to bad notes or something'. You know Kathy, I've watched you grow up. Seven years, and I've done so much for you. I didn't even want to bring this up, but I couldn't suck this one up anymore. All the times I've help you, either for school, or exams, or when you were mad and had to talk about it, or when I took my time out to help you find a job, and I've always asked you how you were. And that reply just hurt me. It made me feel like everything I've done was for nothing, and it made me feel stupid. I've done beyond what normal piano teachers do, and after that seven years of investment for you, this is what I got back."
Another silence.
I looked down desperately, trying to find an easier way to make everything better. I came up with nothing. I looked back up, really wanting to say sorry, but that lump in my throat grew so big that I couldn't utter a word. I was barely able to keep my eyes from tearing. I was trying so hard just to keep myself intact that I couldn't do anything else.
"Time to pack up," she said after a while, handing me my books.
I didn't even notice that my precious sixteen minutes were over already. All the truth about what I've done hit me so hard that I didn't even get the time to breathe before it was over.
I got off the piano bench and bent down to pack my books into my backpack when I heard Rosan get up from her chair. I expected her to simply go downstairs to let me out the door and give me a silent treatment... but I was nowhere near right.
"Do you want me to give you a hint for an easier way to make this better?"
I was surprised, but I couldn¡¯t look up. I was too ashamed.
"Just come back next time and say sorry, ok? I don't hold grudges."
And... she gave me a hug. After all those horrible things I did, she gave me a hug. I was so touched.
She brought me downstairs and waited by the door as I put on my shoes. "Just don't forget about that apology; I'll be waiting. And I'll still listen if you want to talk about your job next time."
Then she smiled.
I could barely hear myself whisper a 'thanks' as I went out the door, passing the next piano student who was waiting patiently outside. And, right then, I broke down. I felt the tears come, and the lump finally became a sore pain deep in my throat. I couldn't believe Rosan's kindness. She was so understanding as to let me leave today without apologizing; she gave me a week to prepare myself. She knew that I wasn't in control of myself enough to make everything better today, and she understood. She showed me how much I could hurt someone through what I say, even if I didn't mean it or know it. And she said she would still be there for me when I needed it.
She forgave me even before I was ready to ask for it.
Jesus, I thank you, because you have forgiven me too, for even worse things. I am sorry.
Author: Snowstep
Pairing: none
Summary: A forgiving piano teacher teaches her student on something more than playing musical notes.
Editor: none
Cover: none
Author's Notes: This is a real story experienced by none other than yours truly. ^^
Life Lesson on Forgiveness
The phone rang again. I was expecting my mom, but I didn't recognize the number. I reluctantly picked up the phone and went back to sit in front of the computer, buffing myself to get ready for the Maplestory event that was going to start.
"Hello?"
"Kathy, you're forty-five minutes late."
I dropped the phone on the table and quickly picked up back up. "OH SHOOT!" I forgot about my piano lesson! Then it all made sense; how the Maplestory game suddenly disconnected half an hour ago, when it was 10 minutes after my lesson was supposed to start. How the Internet didn't work anymore at that moment, and how I felt that I was using up precious time when I was waiting for the bus. God was reminding me about it. It all made sense now.
"I'm sorry I totally forgot!" I felt like a nervous wreck. I was so stupid! As fast as I could, I typed 'OMG I FORGOT I HAD PIANO LESSONS! G2G BYE', and quit Maplestory.
"It's either you come for 16 minutes, or you don't come and you still get charged."
"I guess I should run over then?"
"Yes that's the best idea."
Then she hung up. Rosan sounded so disappointed... And at my last lesson I upset her too. Though I didn't remember why, I knew my piano teacher was still unhappy about it. And to make this all worse, I wasn't able to practice piano yesterday because I scraped a whole layer of skin off my finger the day before, so now she was going to be even more disappointed than she already was.
"Shoot!" I said under my breath as I turned computer off without going through the shut-down process, and ran to my room to stuff my piano books into my backpack. I very much wanted to turn that 'shoot' into a 'nuts', but I knew God wouldn't like it.
I sprinted out the door and tried to get to Rosan's house as soon as I could, but I couldn't go very fast because it was uphill, and the sun was burning my face. I HATED to have to face the sun, but I had no choice this time. I just hoped that Rosan wouldn't be too unhappy with me.
The moment I entered the door, I knew it wasn't going to be pretty. Though she didn't show that she was mad through her words, I knew she was very, very disappointed. And, probably not even only because of this. She wasn't the type of person who'd have gotten mad because I forgot about my lessons... I knew there was something more to it.
"Let's hear Intermezzo."
It just HAD to be the new song I was supposed to memorize... the one that I only got half way before I hurt my index finger. The one that was going to worsen her mood.
I didn't say anything, and only hoped that things would be ok.
I couldn't even describe how horrible my notes were. The song was a mess! I took a deep breath and looked down at the keys in frustration, but this time, it was because I felt so useless, helpless. I couldn¡¯t remember. I gave up. I gave up on trying to guess all the notes, but I did finish the song. I skipped back to the repeated ending, which was a sound of doom and sadness.
Perfect for the mood in the room right then.
"You really need more practice. Now we're behind schedule. If next time isn't going to be better, I'll have to tell your mom that you're not ready."
Yep, disappointment through and through.
"Play La Sarabande."
I started, but then I was cut off. My left hand was still on the piano as I turned to face Rosan. She looked serious. Very serious.
"I really didn't appreciate the attitude you gave me last time." She didn't simply look mad this time, or even just disappointed. No, she looked... hurt.
"How many years have I been teaching you?"
Her question caught me off guard. "Um... six to seven years... I think..."
"Seven years. I've taught you for seven years, and I couldn't believe you said what you said to me last time."
It must've been really bad... but I just didn't remember what I said before.
"If it was any other student, I would have sent them home right away. It was hurtful and it was rude. Out of all my students, I couldn't believe it was you who said it. It felt like a verbal slap across the face."
She paused for a moment. I didn't know what to do... I just sat there, watching and listening. I didn't know what I said could have meant so much damage to her. Rosan, out of all people. She was the person who I thought would never get hurt, especially not by me. I pursed my lips a little, thinking it over, with my hand still on the piano keys.
"You have given me your attitude many times before, way more than I ever deserved, and I sucked it up. But this time, you crossed the line. I know that I didn't sound excited for you about your job, but I didn't say that I wanted you to quit. I just said that you should only work for two to three times a week, and you know why?"
She stopped talking to let me answer. By now I could almost feel a lump in my throat. And I noticed that she was very unlike her usual self today. I always saw her as perfect, but today... it just didn't look like it. And it was because of me.
"Because I should get time for all my other stuff like piano?" Pitiful.
"Because I care about you." Those words made the lump huge instantly. "I didn't want you to do more than you can handle, because I know how much a person can and can't. And you didn't appreciate it. You said 'I thought your job as a piano teacher was to just listen to bad notes or something'. You know Kathy, I've watched you grow up. Seven years, and I've done so much for you. I didn't even want to bring this up, but I couldn't suck this one up anymore. All the times I've help you, either for school, or exams, or when you were mad and had to talk about it, or when I took my time out to help you find a job, and I've always asked you how you were. And that reply just hurt me. It made me feel like everything I've done was for nothing, and it made me feel stupid. I've done beyond what normal piano teachers do, and after that seven years of investment for you, this is what I got back."
Another silence.
I looked down desperately, trying to find an easier way to make everything better. I came up with nothing. I looked back up, really wanting to say sorry, but that lump in my throat grew so big that I couldn't utter a word. I was barely able to keep my eyes from tearing. I was trying so hard just to keep myself intact that I couldn't do anything else.
"Time to pack up," she said after a while, handing me my books.
I didn't even notice that my precious sixteen minutes were over already. All the truth about what I've done hit me so hard that I didn't even get the time to breathe before it was over.
I got off the piano bench and bent down to pack my books into my backpack when I heard Rosan get up from her chair. I expected her to simply go downstairs to let me out the door and give me a silent treatment... but I was nowhere near right.
"Do you want me to give you a hint for an easier way to make this better?"
I was surprised, but I couldn¡¯t look up. I was too ashamed.
"Just come back next time and say sorry, ok? I don't hold grudges."
And... she gave me a hug. After all those horrible things I did, she gave me a hug. I was so touched.
She brought me downstairs and waited by the door as I put on my shoes. "Just don't forget about that apology; I'll be waiting. And I'll still listen if you want to talk about your job next time."
Then she smiled.
I could barely hear myself whisper a 'thanks' as I went out the door, passing the next piano student who was waiting patiently outside. And, right then, I broke down. I felt the tears come, and the lump finally became a sore pain deep in my throat. I couldn't believe Rosan's kindness. She was so understanding as to let me leave today without apologizing; she gave me a week to prepare myself. She knew that I wasn't in control of myself enough to make everything better today, and she understood. She showed me how much I could hurt someone through what I say, even if I didn't mean it or know it. And she said she would still be there for me when I needed it.
She forgave me even before I was ready to ask for it.
Jesus, I thank you, because you have forgiven me too, for even worse things. I am sorry.